The Bullshit Backyard Ultra - 2023

(Originally written for Facebook on March 26, 2023)

For those who weren’t sure what was going on yesterday, I did a Last Person Standing race that started at 7 am and we were to run 4.167 miles every hour on the hour until only one person was left running. We were running around a farm that was filled with mud and to navigate through. The field included 40 runners from all over the northeast. I was aiming for 50 miles which would be just about 12 loops, but assumed I would land somewhere between 31 (my previous distance record) and the high 40s.

The first few loops were raining and sleet-filled ice baths. It was absolutely the most fabulous thing I had ever run through and everybody else either hated it or felt the same. Several dropped out during the weather.

I felt a surge of energy at the start of the middle loops (I have no idea which ones because I refused to look at my watch) where I started coming into camp before anybody else did, buying myself some time to hydrate, eat, change my shoes, and rest. This is about when people started cheering for me at the actual race, and it was absolutely exhilarating to hear my name yelled out.

I was asked by one other person in the race, “Do you run ultras often?” And I answered him, “No, this is my second.” He was extremely supportive and extremely shocked at the same time lol. I got a lot of encouraging words from the people I was competing against. I made a few friends on the course. I had over 14 hours running with some of these people, so I learned a lot about them and it was pretty good bonding time, running around and beating the hell out of our bodies.

Now, I’ll thank my husband Erik Namestnik who would help me every time I came to camp, giving me all the fuel I needed and forcing me to drink water. Folks, this man was changing my shoes and socks for me because I was too tired to do it. I absolutely couldn’t have gone as far as I did without him.

By about 6 pm, my energy started to fade, shortly before I hit 50 miles. I decided when I went out on the 6 pm loop that it would be my last one. At this point there were 9 people left in the field, give or take, I honestly have a very hazy memory of this. I spent the loop basically thanking my body for the day that it gave me, and crying () because I was so overjoyed with what I had accomplished. I came in about 10 minutes later than I did in the 5 previous loops. At 6:56 pm, I turned to the Race Directors wife (I think…again, hazy) and said ”I’m done”.

This is where shit got super real. Theyyyyy were not done WITH me, and thought I could go a little further. Before I knew it, I had two or three guys coming around telling me how badly I needed to win it, how the other guys were just as tired as I was, I had people pulling for me, and I needed to start the night loop. Erik put on my night gear (lights and headlamp) and I was asked at 6:59 pm, ”Are you doing the night loop?” I honestly had no clue until about 20 seconds before it started. When 6:59:40 hit, I was suddenly getting ready to hit the lap on my watch and either complete loop 13 or die trying.

I started out with all the guys, getting used to the new loop we were running but then got overwhelmingly tired and slowed my roll. I fell about a half mile behind. I probably wasn’t looking very good anymore, but when I ran by the crowd the first time and heard all the music and cheering, and more specifically my name, I kicked it into gear. I spent the middle part of the loop not only catching up, but speeding by all the guys, the second time I passed the crowd, I heard a “that’s Mary…AND SHE’S IN THE LEAD! WAHOOOOO!!” Which, for context, absolutely doesn’t mean shit in a last man standing, but it was very motivating to hear from someone who I literally had no idea who he was. I finished the loop at 7:48, give or take a minute, rested, and started my next loop.

Loop 14 wasn’t anything too special aside from me realizing that although I could literally put my body into the dirt and win this race, it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I could feel my heart and legs sending messages to my mind that it was so tired, and I absolutely wanted to respect my body. At the start of loop 15, I turned to everyone and said ”This is it, I’m going to get my mileage for my 100k and turn back.”

I walked a lot of loop 15, chatting with the other guys and wishing them well, and as I approached the end of the road after getting my mileage in, I shut off my lights and walked towards Erik, gave him a hug, and took a shot of fireball given to me by a few men who doused their fire after I decided I wouldn’t continue the race (literally felt so honored that they stuck around for me to take a shot with them). I read through everybody’s texts that they sent me throughout the day, thanked the race director, and headed home, extremely content with my performance.

I’ve never in my life had so many people cheering for me, rooting for me, and believing in me. It carried me through every ache I felt. And there were A LOT of aches. I can’t thank you guys enough for taking such an interest in what I was doing yesterday. It’s so incredible to share this experience with so many people who genuinely cared about how I was doing. I’m actually so overwhelmed that not only my personal friends were cheering for me and checking my race standing, but your FAMILIES! You guys are the best and I can’t say it enough.

Today I feel like a small pile of garbage but honestly not too bad and I think it’s because I listened to my body over the ultimate desires of this really powerful crowd that I didn’t want to disappoint and inner desire to win it all. It was hard to quit with so many people rooting for me back home as well, but I knew that although there would be minor disappointment at camp, I think I made a good number of my friends and family extremely proud.

The closest thing I could compare my current feeling to is childbirth. That’s the level of exhaustion in my body right now.

And for the record, I did this on my period. So, I’ll end this with “Fuck yes, women.”